Friday, April 3, 2009

Good morning dogs

Izzy wakes the human up at approximately 6:00 am every morning and demands to be conducted to the back door. Once Izzy is out and the human tries to go back to bed, Timmy decides now might be a good time to go outside and have a nice bark.. at this point the human thinks maybe Chloe could join her fellow committee members in the garden, but Chloe tends to feel it's more appropriate to hide under the bed and grumble. After a short interval where the human admonishes, grovels, begs, bribes and threatens, Chloe emerges, under protest and complains her way out to the back door.
While the committee busies itself with things canine in the back yard, including keeping up a running commentary on their activities with Keano next door, the human prepares 3 breakfasts...the big breakfast for the big girl, the medium breakfast for the medium boy, and the diet breakfast for the inappropriately big girl. During this interlude Izzy likes to decorate herself with amorphous pieces of garden, the grungier the better. Digging a new hole and adding another layer of mud to her moustache is a favourite beauty treatment. Timmy provides a running commentary on everything that is going on, while Chloe takes all the bones and squeaky things into custody.
Sounds of food preparation elicit demands to be re-admitted to the kitchen pronto! including threats from Izzy to come through the backdoor commando style. Timmy and Chloe feel the newcomer should take the heat for any damage that may occur, but are happy to provide assistance.
Once they have gained entrance the human deals out the breakfasts and the committee stares at whatever is put in front of them in distaste. The human is usually compelled to play a sort of "Find the Lady" game with the bowls and has learned the trick is always to put the food you intend Dog 1 to eat in front of Dog 3, Dog 2's in front of Dog 1 and so on. The human is then expected to sit and observe the committee eating and not move. If any movement occurs during the breakfast ceremony, the entire committee stops eating and follows the human. Chloe then moves in Timmy's breakfast, Izzy spots this and decides she wants it too, and Timmy gives up and goes for whatever crumbs are left in Chloe's bowl. During this procedure human is permitted to have coffee, as long as it is done quickly. The committee then surrounds the human with demands for samples of the human food.
After breakfast, the human proceeds to the living room to feed the fish. The committee accompanies, observes and comments. The female members ask for some of the fish food. Timmy looks on in disdain. The fish just come up to the surface and demand the damn food right now thank you very much.
After above procedure is complete the human is allowed to get dressed and ready for work. After committee inspection of the contents of handbag, human rescues shoes chosen for the day from Izzy, and attempts to leave the house with minium layer of dog hair.
Dogs proceed to chosen positions as illustrated in photograph. Departure of human may cause some half-wags and smug grunts. Human leaves house and wonders who exactly is the superior species.....

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